


FACE family fics

by NorthoftheNorth



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 14:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16199354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthoftheNorth/pseuds/NorthoftheNorth
Summary: A series of mostly random, hopefully funny stories centred around Canada's family and some of their antics.





	1. Dinner Time

Dinner Time

England and Canada were in the kitchen together making spaghetti. For once, England's attempt at cooking was actually going well, although that could also be because Canada was there helping him make it. But still, his cooking was going good, so he was in a pretty good mood to go along with it.

And because of this, he was willing to let Canada help out a bit more than he usually would.

"So, do you like tomato sauce?" That was the first question were things had already gone wrong.

"Yes, you?"

"Of course."

England paused before looking at the big pan full of sauce in front of them.

"That's good, because we have lots of it."

Despite that, he still added in another can of kidney beans and two cans of tomatoes.

Canada then put in another can of tomatoes.

"Are you sure we should put that much in?"

"Yes, I like tomatoes."

"Alright then."

They believed everything was fine until they sat down to eat with America and he decided to comment on the food.

"Can I have some more meat with my tomatoes? Actually, can I have some more anything with my tomatoes? Like seriously dudes, what is up with this?"

He'd lifted his spoon up, and even in that random scoop out of his plate the spoon still only had tomatoes on it.

England had looked at Canada and Canada hadn't even looked up from his bowl.

"I like tomatoes." He said sullenly.


	2. Chapter 2

Setting: Seychelles room. A big Commonwealth family get together is going on…and France also decided to invite himself over as well. You know, just because.  
________________________________________  
England walks into her room. "Put on a bra this bloody instant! No, don't try to slouch over to hide it, I can tell you're not wearing one. It's indecent! Put one on right now."

Seychelles throws a nighttime bra at his head. "No! They're mega uncomfortable and I refuse to do it! And it's not like it's illegal to not wear a bra!"

England sputters. "Do not throw ladies undergarments at me."

Seychelles gets a devilish deviant look in her eyes. She grins, then reaches over, pulls open one of the drawers of her dresser and starts pelting England with all of her panties and bras.

"What the- stop this! What are you doing? Arghf-" He said as he caught a sock in the mouth.

France rushes into the room. "What is with all the noise going on in here?" He looks at England and snorts, trying to hold in his laughter, badly. "Pfft. What are you doing with underwear on your head, England?"

England reaches up and forcefully yanks it off, throwing it to the ground. His face turning red in anger, "Frog! I'll murder you!"

Downstairs, Canada is trying to ignore the screams and cries for help coming from the upstairs while America is trying his hardest to become enthralled in his latest video game and therefore become mercifully oblivious to what was going on upstairs. It wasn't working out so well, for either of their efforts.

Canada sighed and looked at his brother. "They never do quit, eh?" He asked.

"Hm," America answers him. Then delves back into his video game.

The question didn't really need an answer.

Their family was SO weird sometimes... no wait, all of the time.  
________________________________________  
"I'll wear the bra if you wear a bra!"

England splutters, again. "I'm not going to wear a bloody bra!"

Seychelles sniffed. "Fine then," She said as she turned around and walked daintily out the door...still without a bra on underneath her blue dress.  
________________________________________  
This is so totally something I would see Seychelles doing, just because she would know it would piss England off. The goofs.


	3. Oh, America

FACE family Fics-Oh, America  
________________________________________  
To be fair, the evening had already started off rather oddly when his next door neighbour had popped by to hand him their cat and say that they were leaving to go jump off a cliff, something to do with a friend of theirs, leaving a very confused Mathew Williams personification of the country of Canada standing on his doorstep holding a wriggling ball of meows and claws that was not very happy to be there, and who he honestly had no idea what to do with. Maybe he could feed it to Kuma-whatsitsname.

Of course, the evening also had to end weird too.

Which was, of course, his brother Alfred F. Jones', the personification of the United States of America, turn to barge into his house and make a demand for pancakes.

But at least that Mathew knew how to do, and obliged without much confusion.

Then they'd sat down to a movie, a bro's night out, and of course, Alfred had gotten bored after just an hour and turned to his brother to start up a conversation.

"Why are you so tense, Mattie?"

Canada looked at him, confused. "I'm not tense. I'm actually very relaxed right now."

Of course America had to disagree with that and continue the strange conversation.

"Nope, you are tense. Very much so! See? Look at your arms! You have goosebumps. That means you're tense!"

Everything was always an exclamation for him. Canada truly wondered where he got all his boundless hyperactivity from. Maybe it was ADHD.

"That doesn't mean I'm tense." This was, of course, followed by a sigh on Canada's part.

Which gave America all the more reason to disagree with it. Wasn't it always so annoying when the supposed 'adult figure' gave The Sigh?

"Yes it does! The tiny muscles around your hair follicles are tensing up and that is what is causing your goosebumps. See? See? You are tense!"

Canada gives his brother a sad small smile. "You know, Alfred, you really are very smart. High literacy rate and all." He pauses. "Jut...not in ways that would impress other nations."

"Oh." America said, looking down at the ground. What else could he say?

"But, you're trying! And that's what counts." Canada finished with enthusiastic false cheer and gave his brother a small pat on the back. "Gold star for effort."


	4. Hertz

FACE family fics  
This was literally inspired by the word "hertz" idk peps, idk. I'm just weird that way.  
________________________________________  
Just to give you an idea of what's going on, I'll tell you one thing. Mathew and Alfred were playing around with their music in the garage. What can I say? Alfred likes to make things up, and Mathew always willing to help him.

That was when Arthur came down.

"What, may I ask, is that infernal noise?" he was tapping his foot at the base of the stairs into the basement, with one of his permanent scowls, of course, stuck to his face.

Mathew and Alfred looked at each other guiltily then looked back up in time to see Arthur promptly bend down to pick up an electric air guitar that they'd left leaning against the wall when they'd gotten their own instruments off of the shelves in the basement recreation area.

Oh.

Arthur let her rip, running through a complicated beautiful riff while Mathew and Alfred stood there with their mouths hanging open. Like idiots, though, of course, that was far from what they were. Immature, on the other hand? Well, that’s another story.

Arthur stopped, put the instrument back where it was supposed to be properly, and went towards the stairs back up to the kitchen. Pausing at the doorway, he looked back to say, "That is how it's done, boys."


	5. Chapter 5

Mathew wasn’t quite sure why he had gotten caught up in this ridiculous conversation, nor did he want to bother to spend the time and energy to think about it. He had just one mission.

“You. Will. Buy. Me. A. New. Book.” He gritted out. 

‘The little brat. It was his fault anyways. Why in all that was and is good did Alfred have to take it in the first place?

Of course, Alfred was being a bit of a di** about it all. “I did not wreck your book!"

Mathew fixed him with a deadpan stare. 

"My book is now just one big water stain. I don't even know if I can still call it a book. You were the one using it, Alfred."

"That is so not a water stain. Here, Mattie, feel this. It's not wet, right?"

His brother was going to drive him insane one day. Maybe even soon.

“Get that away from my face, and for your information, I didn't see anything! You just hit me in the face with it!”

Canada could see out of the corner of his eye that America was pouting. 

He also bravely and valiantly, I might add, resisted the urge to roll his eyes when his brother then said, “But it wasn't wet, now was it?”

And continued to slap him with the book.

That did it. If he had been shouting before, this time the glare he’d quickly sent Alfred’s way rightfully should have frozen him more solid than Canada’s farthest northern reaches.

Sadly, nature was (actually, is) facing global warming, and fate had never been that kind to him. 

“I'm driving! Stop hitting me with that.”


	6. Canadian Idiot

Canadian Idiot

To be fair, on every other visit, Canada made sure that the room was locked and that everyone knew not to go into it. Then again, he had always known his family had never been very good at impulse control. 

So, of course, they had wandered into his secret room before he had a chance to realize his mistake and lock it up.

“Well, well, well, welcome to my lair.”

Walking in, you might think this was the home of a hockey coach…who had had every single team member donate their jersey to him for some reason…along with their pucks…and sticks…and medals. 

Until you counted in the fact that as a Nation, and as someone who doesn’t age…Canada had participated in nearly every one of his team’s across his country. He could never bear to throw any of it out, as each one now stood for a memory and a time gone by that only he was still alive to remember, hence the enormous and flagrant display of paraphernalia that America, England, and France were still recovering from their shock of seeing. 

Alfred was the first to snap out of it. 

“Holy shit, this is almost as much stuff as I have in my football collection!"

Everyone turned and stared at him. 

“What?”

“You have more than this????”

America now sported his trademark confident grin and thumbs up. “It will fucking blow your mind away, guaranteed.”


End file.
